Its time for me to go...

Its a stay long overdue.

I thought I'd be useful here, giving each other comfort and understanding.

At the start it was very inviting to stay.

I didn't know what you were up to, but as long as I was happy and you didn't mind, everything seems right.

I tried to find my place in this very foreign system. For a time I thought I knew enough and we did well.

This is my first time here, and everything is a first for me.

I learnt so many ways of handling such systems. I learnt how to handle myself.

No other girl made me feel this way.

During my stay so many interesting things happened. It was fun, but they blurred the line between what is true and fantasy.

It was ambiguous alright. Nothing was clear. But I built my strategies and policies around that ambiguity.

Nothing needs to be answered. I can go on.

Then came a review. I figured that if that question was answered, it'll most probably be no. So do I still want to carry on?

Why not? I was happy, you were happy. Let's just stay this way.

Till the time when I'm locked away in a far away island for 3 months, then I'll start forgetting you.

By the time I'm out, I'll be new again. It would be as if nothing has ever happened. You'll become another beautiful memory.

That was my plan. It should have lasted this way till the end.

Then this system started breaking down.

There were more secrets, more false fronts and less honesty.

At first I could take it. I adjusted myself to keep pace with these changes.

Then these changes became faster and faster until I couldn't keep up.

With so much being hidden these days, I figured its time for me to go.

I don't think you want to keep this system anymore. Its becoming harder to convince myself to stay.

The death blow came when the question was unexpectedly answered. It started a chain of thoughts within me that I couldn't control.

No one is at fault. This is just a natural progression of events.

There's no insurance for anyone who entered into such a system, and all the while I'm the one on the losing side.

Thanks for coming this close into my life anyway. You taught me so much, and they'll stick with me for a long time.

For all I've put in, at least those are what I get to take away.

The cold is unbearing, but after so long I've grown numb to it. As I begin my long walk through the winter back to where I came from, I hope at least I've left something behind for you that was good.

I hope you didn't think it was mistake to let me into your life in the first place...