Prison of Fear

There comes a time when you start to seriously question yourself,
How much more should we try.
Whether is the matter expired beyond even words.
That we should really just mothball it and for once have the courage to move on.


Many months back I had the fortune to know you.
You were not afraid of what is happening around us.
What we both call the excesses of life.
You had the courage to stand up to it and say you want no part in that madness.


We all have a past that is not so glorious.
Parts we don't want others to know.
However you had the courage to stand up to it.
You said screw it, I want to live for the future.
The past will serve as a lesson for the future.
We were not afraid.


We knew each other as individuals who could stare in the hard Truths of life and smile.
That having a positive mindset and the tenacity to try is the way forward.
And lived that we did.
I was the luckiest man in the world for a while.
But that fortune ran out.


Now the person I see is consumed by fear.
Fear of the unknown.
A person consumed by the darkness of her past.
Unwilling and afraid to try and overcome them.
Fear of the sudden weight of matters faced by her.


But as always you are not alone.
We could have fought it together.
I could give you the time we need.
You are worth it all.
My hands were outstretched.
And I have done so more than once.
All you need to do is to reach out and hold it.


I had my own changes to do.
Faulty was the old system.
But I see a chance to change for the better.
To still go on in a manner new to what was before.
A shot at the future.
Not afraid at the odds.
Willing to try.
Because you still matter to me.


But blinded by darkness you still are.
Unable to be who you truly are.
You chose to listen to the evil voices in the dark.
It covered your ears and eyes.
And not able to see and hear you fought against those trying to reach you.
And in the end no one can reach you.


Like a swordsman with his eyes covered.
Indiscriminately attacking all that gets close to him.
Yet unwilling to remove his blindfold for fear of what he will see.


It is not that you have changed.
You are who you are.
Yet poisoned by fear.
The good in you still exists.
Largely ignored.


You have went back to hide in that darkness.
Hiding what you do not want others to see.
And deny the facts the others saw.
I do not despise what you were before or now.
I just don't want you to be shadowed by darkness or alone.


You may hide things from others.
But the only person you cannot lie is yourself.


You have abandoned reality for what seems to be comfortable.
And no matter how dark they are you still chose to listen to them.
Because they give you comfort.
You have abandoned the future and ran back to your past.
Because at least those you still know, and the future you don't.
But who will know what is to come?
At least we still try.


And now there is nothing I can do anymore.
I cannot force a person to remove his blindfolds.
He must remove it himself.
I believe you will remove it someday.
And become the person you ought to be.
One who listens to her good and fights bravely against her darkness.
A darkness that everyone has within.
But perhaps I wouldn't be around to see it.


I am not afraid of heartbreaks.
But as long as I see worth in it, I will try.
But there is a logical limit to perseverance.
The line between perseverance and blind stubbornness is thin.
It is time I stop.


You are still the most amazing person I know thus far.
I saw the darkness within you and accepted it.
If one day it did come out I am prepared to deal with it.
But I cannot do anything if you don't reach out your hand.
If alone you need to go from here, then be on your way.


I will always remember the strong girl I once knew.
The one who would bravely stand up and say I dare.
One willing to ignore her past to strive for the future.
One whom I saw staring into the face of great odds and said 'Let's do it!'
A strength that once captivated me and I still admire.
A strength still present in you.
A strength I promptly learned.


At least I did myself a favour and tried.
A feeble attempt, but I did what I could.
I trust what I saw.
More cuts from your sword I have received.
But it is only because you were blindfolded.


I do not blame you.
The only person I will blame is myself.