Heavy Steps

Reality is never an easy thing to handle.
And we are made worst for it.
Our desires and wants often turn us away from fairly discerning reality.
It blurs the straight road ahead into one that is exponentially more complex.
And yet this we must handle well.
For this is how will grow.


The more we try to fight our desires, the more they come back to us.
The gradient grows steeper and steeper.
I must be convinced to let go of that desire, otherwise I'm stuck in an uphill fight.
But stuck at it I must for now.
It must be so until I can finally convince myself that it should be.
It is not a matter of logical certainty, but one of will and time.


It is never an easy thing to do.
In fact it is easier to turn back.
But where can I turn back to?
From that very day on, the door that led me to this road has been deleted.
There's no turning back.
The only way is forward.


The way ahead is difficult.
The roots went deep.
Some thoughts can be pulled out from the ground.
But some must be left to rot.
Like it or not it will forever become a part of us.
Better find a good way to deal with it.
So that when we emerge we are more than before.
And not end up being sour with it.
In the end we learn nothing but hate.


The burden is heavy.
In fact it is getting heavier with each step.
But this is what I must do.
Because there's no other choice.
And do it I will.


Am I still growing up?
I bet I still am.
In fact we never stop doing so.
Growing up becomes a part of life.


I'm not alone.
There are many others whom I should live for.
Better be ready for them.
Better be ready for life.
Because if I think only about myself,
In the end I will only be left with MY-self.


I have been there before.
And what a dark world it was.
The promise stands.
Never again.


At least I know how to go forward.
At least I know with reasonable accuracy what it is I'll face.
At least I know how to be ready.
And I can start with this little bit of certainty.
That bit of Light to work with.
So that I may find more.


There's still much concepts to explore ahead.
Much data to analyze.
And much about life I need to deal with.
That should be enough for now.


You can't help but miss what has passed.
How it could have been prevented.
And what's left that we may go back to.
Wild thoughts that somehow it may be back.
To be honest I haven't given up hope yet.
But I guess the odds are such you may call me foolish.
It is this last frontier that is always difficult.


It takes two hands to clap.