At the end of the day, it is all about accepting..

This is my second post for the weekend.

Perhaps to put a little Light into the gloom I have painted.

I have learnt a lot recently. Having seen a lot of things, both good and bad. But I have kept myself away from them, partially because they are none of my business, and partially because I get to learn more this way.

Combining what I am seeing now with what I have seen in the past. Always correcting views I have here and there. Trying to find the balance out of all things I have on hand.

Thing are going well in recent times. The deeper I peer, the clearer things become. It seems that most thing I dig out of the ground fit into the equations I have written.

The things that once confused me now provide answers to my questions.

Perhaps I am close to a formula that can finally calm the raging seas within me.

I still look back to the past.

In part for more lessons and more data for my current work, and in part to those days before things got complicated.

I am close to the answers that I want. I may be able to finish the concluding chapters for these age old books.

A lot more things make sense now. What were the injustices, what were my wrongs, and what were the wrongs played by every individual involved.

And with the past I ponder for a future ahead.

Well, there isn't really much to ponder. Much has been burnt to ashes. Though we may still have leftovers here and there, not all really matters.

Not all are worthy to be treasured.

All I saw of the past is now one huge giant wasteland, the fields full of charred remnants of war. These used to remind me of our past struggles, up till the very end.

But now I have grown numb to it. Or rather, I have found a way to get used to them. They no longer bother me. And now I sieve through the wastelands looking at the past glory.

Searching for evidence that agrees or disagrees with the new equations I have now.

Always looking at things from different perspectives, the pieces slowly adds up to form good enough pictures for analysis.

When we deal with a complex world, we require the same amount of complexity to understand it.

But complexity is just the means to an end. One day when we have enough data, we create one beautiful equation such that it will reduce a group of complexities into one handy simplicity.

The unification of one big group of data into one simple thought function.

I've figured that at times, it is not difficult to know the right or wrong. It is having the courage to do what is right that is difficult.

And for any reasons that we might have, to do the things that lead us further away from the right.

But that is up to me to find the way, to know what to let go, what is false and what is worth treasuring.

A complex dance of everything to produce orderly patterns that aids us in discerning the world.

That is how I will grow. That is how I don't look back. That is how I keep myself sane.

That is how I find the balance.

The world may say that all things are easy. But it is only so because we have kept ourselves away from the complex but vital questions.

To put it in a harsher way, what we see is a lie.

And I want to see beyond that lie.

To not get sucked into the vanities of the modern world. To not just accept things because we were told it is right, but to find out the right for myself.

At the end of the day, it is all about having the courage to accept what we see.

And the outcome of the equations. The sometimes terrible state of reality.

It is easy for us to rejoice when things are beautiful, when things are right. But what about when things go wrong? Are they not pieces of reality also? Should we not take stride and continue our work with discerning what is ugly too?

And once we accept that, we can begin our task of reasoning all of that into understandable information.

And then seemly complex and unpleasant things will begin to make sense. Then we will see that it actually aligns with reality, and is not an anomaly.

This is where I found my peace. So far that peace is hard to break. So far the theory as a whole holds its ground.

How I wish I can share it with those I know so that they may experience the peace I have felt.

But alas that is not possible. Not many people are ready to face the ugly, true side of reality, what is part of the Truth.

To an unprepared soul, these will only serve to break them further away from reality.

Because these are brutal evidence that our ways are wrong. It stands to be corrected.

I thank the Lord for putting me through the tough times in the past, and showing me what are really beautiful, those things that ought to be kept close to heart.

For it is only through this way that I can find the peace I want. It is only through this that I have come to realize that peace is all we need.

That to a turbulent soul, all things that come out of it will be faulty and incomplete.

I wish one day, I may bring what I saw to you in a way kind to your easily troubled self, and in a way you may accept. So that you may enjoy the peace I have seen, and provide answers to your questions.

For you are still and always will be, my greatest blessing.