A Difficult Subject

Don't we all seek the fruit of forgiveness? That freedom from the prick of our conscience, the complete absolution from the wrongs we have done. Something we so eagerly sought, yet so hesitant on giving.

When a life filled with wrongs tries to find a road to what is right, he is haunted by the weight of his past sins.

But when have we not wronged before? Don't we all remember the times when we were truly sorry for what we have done, and could trade all that we have for that single spark of forgiveness? We felt how merciless it was not to be forgiven. We felt abandoned to the dark.

In a world where power and pride rules, how much is forgiveness worth?

Perhaps the hardest person to forgive is yourself. The originator of all wrongs you've ever remembered, the subject of blame for all the things you could have done otherwise.

Sin weighs us down. It depreciates our worth and deviates us away from what we ought to do. However sin need not remain forever. It need not be a brand we forever carry on our faces.

Sins are meant to be forgiven. It is an anomaly, not the norm. We should not become numb to the pain it causes to a repentant soul.

Because sins can teach us, or it can break us. It can warp our perception of what is right and eventually make us numb. We no longer feel pain or fear doing wrong anymore. The last barrier to darkness is removed.

Sure it makes us without fear, but what will become of us? Free ranging marauders above all reason?

Forgiveness starts from within. God may have forgiven you, Reason may have forgiven you and the whole world may have forgiven you. But if you prevent yourself from being forgiven through self blame and regret, then all of that forgiveness is wasted.

A Light is always present within you, the source that drives us to do good. Don't block it out or let your pride overcome its wisdom. Through the Light forgive yourself and move on. Ensure that whatever wrong you have done in the past does not get repeated again.

Only when you have extinguished the darkness within you can others start forgiving you.

And only then can you move on to realise who you truly are.

The past has already been made certain, but the future has not. It may be dark and stormy now, but the end is not yet. Hold on to hope and the right values and ride it out. It makes you stronger than the rest who did not ride out storms yet.

If you can't forgive yourself, then the future will always be dark, the Light blotted out by the walls of self-blame.

I'm slowly learning from the past, from all the past lessons that have been given to me. I am looking forward, slowly assuring myself with changes that these will never happen again. That is the only way I can truly forgive myself.