Inconceivable

Joy, it seems, will always sneak itself into the heavily fortified interiors of many, regardless of the odds.

Those strong fortresses buttressed by the events of the past.

For there would not have a need to build such great tools of isolation without a pressing need from the past.

But no matter how well the walls are built or guarded, Joy always wins.

It just makes all those walls irrelevant. Yes they may be a safe place to take a stand when things outside are tough, but we can't be inside all the time.

We need to reach out and see how the world is like out there.

We need gusts of fresh air that Joy readily provides beyond those imposing walls.

We want to live free, even if not in a constant state of freedom and ease, we still want some of it nonetheless.

It is not that the past is irrelevant.

It is how we give meaning to that past, whether we choose to hate, curse or take fruitful lessons from it.

What has passed, is just what we must do to take ourselves to the next level.

Somehow or another, we have got past it fine. What makes you think that we will not be able to do the same again?

The suffering may not welcoming, but it is necessary.

We are stubborn creatures convinced of our own false powers and abilities.

We have them but we are not supreme, always lacking that final touch for perfection.

And so suffering is born to make us learn. Some of us learn after one whiff of suffering, some take two. Some will take many before they are convinced of the need to change.

But we all still get there eventually.

We may curse the suffering we are in now, but in due time we will give thanks to it all.

Let us not let the past restrict us from drinking the waters of Joy.

For they may be important, but they are not always relevant.

Sometimes we just let it all go and take each of us as just who we are, what we think they will be.

We all have pasts. Let us not judge that quickly yet.

Let us just sit at ease and talk about the present and the future.

And when all that is done, maybe we'll talk a bit of the past.

Then we would realize that we all had faults.

It would be unwise to judge, for judgement is cast upon you as well.

Let that past bring fruitful lessons to the one who may listen.

Let it bring peace that perhaps the other has gone through the same as well, and that much can be learnt between them.

That is the point of it all, not judgement, not who is holier, and not who is supreme.

The Joy that I saw, it was so free, so weightless, and so hungry.

For too long perhaps, it has been trapped in the cold confines of its prison.

And now it has seen the Light and warmth of the day, its energy runs wild, filling every space it can find.

It lifts those it touches from the weight of their past and mistakes.

It makes one feel worthy again.

It makes one feel he can touch the skies and not return to the dark lands forever.

When I see that others are in Joy, I am in Joy too.

When I see that others are at peace, I have peace too.

That is the point of it all, that peace and Joy are not just things we seek and keep to ourselves.

We try to put it in a language others can understand.

So that they may see the beauty that we saw and share the same Joy with you.

For what is Joy when it can only be felt by one in the world?

It was so magical and inconceivable.

So intoxicating and addictive.

But let us not be caught up in all its vanities.

Let us be reminded of what we must do, and if God willing, how all the relevant components will all come together.

I tell myself not to be selfish.

Even if it so happens that this is the end and nothing more will come of it, it would still be my greatest Joy for as long as I can remember.

And it will always be the brightest of stars among all others sparkling in the heavens.

Hope has brought us from the cold depths of darkness and bring us warmth and life again.

Let us use that same spirit of hope to look forward for what is to come.

We know not what God has in store for us.

In any case I am grateful enough for what I have. What treasures that lies ahead, I dare not imagine...